The poor tree in our back yard is confused. It's just now March, and it's recently bloomed big, beautiful green leaves, then they turned yellow and brown and dropped to the ground, and now it has buds peeking from the limbs. What the heck, Texas? We go through all the seasons within a span of a week around here. No big deal.
A few weekends ago we made a family trip to Lowe's. The sun was shining and it felt like spring, despite the February reality, and we felt inspired. We walked through the garden section taking in all the fresh smells of flowers and mulch, and dirt. Nora was loving the vibrant colors and wanted to buy all the flowers and all the pretty and bright pots. Side note: I love watching her discover and explore and learn. It's such a joy to be able to grow alongside her and teach her new things. Usually it's a joy, but some days I think I might pull my hair out if she asks "why?" one. more. time. But I digress. Back to the garden section at Lowe's.
As we walked through the aisle, I started to feel pulled in so many directions. I didn't know what to choose, how many to choose, or even if I could keep these little green beings alive. I've never been a plant person. I mean, I guess I've wanted to be one somewhere deep down in my subconscious, but I was afraid I would do it all wrong. What if I water too much or not enough or give them too much sun or not enough? What if I plant them too early or too late or in the wrong size pot or too close together? Shouldn't I research each plant I buy to make sure I'm following the directions in maximum effort to keep them flourishing? Some days I can barely keep my tiny humans alive and thriving so how could I keep these fragile plants alive? As you can see, I often over complicate things, but precious Chris, he grounds me when my head floats in the anxiety clouds. He encouraged me to stop over thinking it and grab what I liked and thought was beautiful. So we started with some bigger plants and mapped out what plant would go in what pot and then found some filler plants, grabbed a bag of dirt and some extra pots and made our way home.
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| Fresh basil and mint |
As the past few weeks have passed, I've been surprised at how much I love tending to these little lovelies. Maybe it's because they say thank you in the most beautiful ways when I water them and give them a sunny corner. And maybe it's because they're mostly forgiving when I forget about them for a day. Or two. The first time I forgot to water the flowers on the front porch, I was so bummed. They were droopy and dry, and the flowers were wilting. See? This is why we can't have nice things. Because I forget to water them. But I threw some water on them because it felt like the right thing to do, and I was genuinely shocked when I went out later. Now, you green thumbs are probably rolling your eyes at me, but I couldn't believe that a cup of water (yes, like a plastic cup from the kitchen because only real gardeners have watering cans) could make such a difference. The flowers were now standing tall, their blooms open and strong, and the leaves looked full and nourished. Now that the secret is out, that just a little water can remedy the drought from the day before, I have to confess that I've been more lax on my watering routine. But all the flowers and plants are still alive and thriving (mostly), and apparently Lowe's has a policy about replacing plants that die in your care so I'm covered.
As silly as it sounds, I thought a lot about the power of water to plants that looked like they were dying. How could just a little water make such a difference and how could those flowers look so frazzled and dry one minute and then beautiful and filled with life the next? I thought about my own life and the power of the things that nourish me. Some days I feel so empty and so tired like I have nothing to give to people around me, which is inconvenient when you have little hands pulling at you, little mouths asking things of you, and little hearts who need for you to show up and be engaged. And then I go to work and have patients and families and management and co-workers asking things of me too. It's hard to pour out to others when your cup is dry, and if we don't fill our cups up with the things that have the power to nourish us then we'll dry up, frazzled and frail and wilted.
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| Sweet lavender |
So what nourishes you? What fills your cup? I've been thinking about that a lot. What gives me the energy I need to serve my family and at my job and to love the people in my life? And not just love them but to do it well, with intention and with pure motives. What things strengthen me, ground me, and help me grow so I can reach out to others?
For me, I know my alone time helps fill my cup. Whether I'm writing or reading, taking a run or tucking myself in bed to watch Netflix, time by myself helps to reset and realign my heart and mind. Sometimes I need to escape from all the other voices and just let my thoughts unfold and wander. Time alone or spent in quiet can sometimes feel daunting. It can be a struggle to quiet our thoughts and all the pressures and demands of our lives, to suppress the mental to do lists and the nagging drive to always be doing, but how can we recenter and reflect and be intentional if we are in a constant state of over stimulation?
Time with my people also helps to fill my cup. Time with Chris and the girls and time with friends who I can be myself with, there's just nothing like it. Being with people where there aren't expectations or facades, being with people who are gracious and understanding and who give me room to be imperfect, makes me excited to grow and learn and connect. Finding a safe and real community is essential for all of us. We all need people to speak truth into our lives and to see our raw broken places. It may not always feel comfortable or like what we need, but we would be crippling ourselves without it.
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| Can't remember the name, but they're my favorite |
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| Nora got some wild flowers of her own |
These are just a couple of things that nourish my soul and help me to live life more fully and intentionally. Most of mine involve the concept of time- time by myself, time with my people, time with Jesus and in the Word, time doing tangible things for other people who may need some extra encouragement, time creating or working on some type of project....for me it comes back to time. How I spend my time helps direct the condition of my heart. If I waste my time, I generally feel droopy and lost, but when I can be intentional about my time I usually feel more fulfilled and like my life matters. What nourishes our minds, bodies, and souls looks different for everyone; the key is to find those things for yourself and do them. Sometimes laziness and busyness or even being too tired can get in the way of pursuing the things that are good for us, but they're worth pursuing. They're worth pursuing because we live in a world that will try to suck us dry, to take what it can from us and discard our dried up, wilted selves. This doesn't mean we shouldn't give of ourselves because we should, but we can't give if we're not first nourished. In taking care of ourselves, we show others around us that it's okay to do good for ourselves, and somehow when we can do good for ourselves it can make us want to do good for others too. Because we
can, because we
want to, and not because we
have to. And because flowers don't live and grow and have life to keep it to themselves; it's for others.
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