Expanding Our Family.
Following Jesus is hard. I think the Bible is pretty clear about that, but sometimes we trick ourselves (and others) with the idea that if we say the sinner's prayer then everything in our lives will fall into place and be peachy. Life is hard. Period. Jesus doesn't necessarily change our circumstances or prevent His children from experiencing pain, but He does show up in our hardships and helps us see things differently than we would without Him. He gives purpose to our rough patches and redeems them in ways we never thought possible. And that makes life a little less hard.
Since Chris and I moved to Texas, we've worked really intentionally to realign our priorities and pursue things that have eternal value. We don't want to turn 80 and painfully regret how we lived our lives or feel that we simply wasted a significant amount of our of time. We are learning more and more that this life isn't about the pursuit of our own happiness nor is it about being comfortable. Those things are nice and on days when we're being lazy, those things satisfy, but deep down we know those things aren't enough. They aren't really valuable, and they don't have an impact that lasts longer than our lives on earth. Rather than center our lives on ourselves, we've been fighting to center our lives around Jesus. Because He is better and His ways are better. They're often contrary to what we might choose on our own, especially on our lazy days, but we know it's worth pursuing.
Nora turns 2 next month, which has been making my uterus antsy. Okay, that's weird, but as she grows it makes us wonder (and others who have asked) what's next for our family. Before we had Nora, I felt such a void. I had such a desire to have a baby and nothing calmed that desire until she was plopped onto my belly right after delivery, her eyes wide open, looking right into mine. If I never have another child, I would be satisfied with our family. My heart still explodes when I look at Nora and realize the gift she is in our lives. I love the three of us, our little team. Even when I'm carrying her at arms length up the stairs, panties full of poop, with Chris cleaning up the carpet in the playroom, but clearly that's a story for another post. Even on my most challenging day as a mom, I feel richly blessed because I know the grace that poured out on Chris and me when she was given to us.
We've had so many conversation on how to expand our family and if we even want to. We thought about just having one, but the thought of Nora being all alone someday when we're dead and gone with no siblings just seems sad. The clock keeps ticking as she gets older, but that void I so keenly felt before we got pregnant with Nora just isn't there. As we've tried to sense what the Lord is doing in this area of our lives, our church's mission of foster care and adoption has reminded us of an old desire. Adoption has always been on our heart's, but finances have prevented us from being able to pursue it. After all, what young couple in their 20's has $25k laying around to adopt a baby, not to mention the diapers and formula that follow? So as we've been trying to center our lives around the things of Jesus, and as we've been trying to decipher what's next for our family, it's been abundantly clear that fostering to adopt is the direction we're headed. Last week, we started the application process to become foster parents, and we're hopefully that our next little person will walk through our door soon after. We aren't naive and know that it'll probably be uncomfortable, painful, and one of the biggest challenges we've faced (but somehow having your parents divorce after almost 30 years while you're pregnant and in nursing school puts the idea of a challenge in perspective).
Sorry about the long way around the barn to announce that we're expanding our family, but we've been walking around this barn for the last few months, and it all seems relevant to us. Our family, our home isn't going to be built on comfort or happiness. We want it to be built on the things of Jesus, which in part means loving somebody that might be hard to love. It might mean loving someone that doesn't obey very well and has raw wounds. It means that life might be hard for a time, but that our perspective will be different and that God will have a marvelous opportunity to heal, redeem, and to show up in a rough patch. We're nervous, and we're scared. We're so excited, and we just can't wait. We welcome any encouragement and prayers along the way!
Since Chris and I moved to Texas, we've worked really intentionally to realign our priorities and pursue things that have eternal value. We don't want to turn 80 and painfully regret how we lived our lives or feel that we simply wasted a significant amount of our of time. We are learning more and more that this life isn't about the pursuit of our own happiness nor is it about being comfortable. Those things are nice and on days when we're being lazy, those things satisfy, but deep down we know those things aren't enough. They aren't really valuable, and they don't have an impact that lasts longer than our lives on earth. Rather than center our lives on ourselves, we've been fighting to center our lives around Jesus. Because He is better and His ways are better. They're often contrary to what we might choose on our own, especially on our lazy days, but we know it's worth pursuing.
Nora turns 2 next month, which has been making my uterus antsy. Okay, that's weird, but as she grows it makes us wonder (and others who have asked) what's next for our family. Before we had Nora, I felt such a void. I had such a desire to have a baby and nothing calmed that desire until she was plopped onto my belly right after delivery, her eyes wide open, looking right into mine. If I never have another child, I would be satisfied with our family. My heart still explodes when I look at Nora and realize the gift she is in our lives. I love the three of us, our little team. Even when I'm carrying her at arms length up the stairs, panties full of poop, with Chris cleaning up the carpet in the playroom, but clearly that's a story for another post. Even on my most challenging day as a mom, I feel richly blessed because I know the grace that poured out on Chris and me when she was given to us.
We've had so many conversation on how to expand our family and if we even want to. We thought about just having one, but the thought of Nora being all alone someday when we're dead and gone with no siblings just seems sad. The clock keeps ticking as she gets older, but that void I so keenly felt before we got pregnant with Nora just isn't there. As we've tried to sense what the Lord is doing in this area of our lives, our church's mission of foster care and adoption has reminded us of an old desire. Adoption has always been on our heart's, but finances have prevented us from being able to pursue it. After all, what young couple in their 20's has $25k laying around to adopt a baby, not to mention the diapers and formula that follow? So as we've been trying to center our lives around the things of Jesus, and as we've been trying to decipher what's next for our family, it's been abundantly clear that fostering to adopt is the direction we're headed. Last week, we started the application process to become foster parents, and we're hopefully that our next little person will walk through our door soon after. We aren't naive and know that it'll probably be uncomfortable, painful, and one of the biggest challenges we've faced (but somehow having your parents divorce after almost 30 years while you're pregnant and in nursing school puts the idea of a challenge in perspective).
Sorry about the long way around the barn to announce that we're expanding our family, but we've been walking around this barn for the last few months, and it all seems relevant to us. Our family, our home isn't going to be built on comfort or happiness. We want it to be built on the things of Jesus, which in part means loving somebody that might be hard to love. It might mean loving someone that doesn't obey very well and has raw wounds. It means that life might be hard for a time, but that our perspective will be different and that God will have a marvelous opportunity to heal, redeem, and to show up in a rough patch. We're nervous, and we're scared. We're so excited, and we just can't wait. We welcome any encouragement and prayers along the way!
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