Restraining My Rude.
I've wanted to write for a few weeks now but haven't had anything working its way out of my heart. I don't want to write simply to take up space or anyone's time because when I do write, I want it to have value and mean something.
I could ramble on about how life has been boring lately, and how refreshing that's felt. I could talk about the green smoothies we've been chugging to be more healthy and to lose some weight before summer or about how running at sea level is easier on the lungs than those oxygen deprived, Colorado runs. But that's not where my head's at. I feel distracted. I try to write about things that are applicable to lots of people, not just the people who believe what I believe or look like me, but for the human heart. But today I'm feeling a little selfish and just need to remind myself how to behave when I've been wounded. And maybe somehow that is for everyone.
Humanity. Such a loaded word full of brokenness, goodness, love, egotism, diversity...humanity encompasses such an array of concepts and meanings, and it's rather brilliant how humans interact with each other and the world around. One of the beauties of living in our world is humanity itself. We have such ripe opportunities to learn from one another, to grow together, to help our fellow man, and to connect with each other based on our similarities and even differences. But with all that beauty there must be the ugly counterpart. Sometimes we're self serving, we're ignorant of each other, we lack empathy, we are laser focused on our agendas and our little lives. We think we are more important than we are, especially in the spectrum of the enormity of our world and universe. Living together and interacting with each other, we are bound to be wounded by the ugliness in others, just as we are bound to wound those around us. None of us are perfect; we all need saving and forgiveness and second (and third and fourth) chances. We all need more gracious interactions when our ugliness rages, and we wound another soul.
Of course, it's so much easier to see the need for grace when I've done the hurting, but when I'm the wounded all I want is for karma to come back around to the person that hurt me. I want to be justified in my wounding, and I want the other person to deeply know how I've been hurt...mainly by experiencing some similar wounding. And if that doesn't reveal something about my human heart, I don't know what does. It's a little embarrassing to type that out for the world to see (and by world, I mean the five people who read my blog), but it's a confession of sorts. Maybe we don't all feel this way when we've been wounded, but I'm willing to bet that many of us do or at least have in the past. I think it's a natural human response. It's really not that appalling and shouldn't take us by surprise. It's that ugly counterpart in our spirits. We all have yucky places in our hearts that need cleaning out and don't do the world at large any good.
Maybe I have the right to feel offended and to desire pay back or the demise of certain parties or entities. Maybe that natural ugliness in my heart that isn't that appalling is normal and maybe I should leave it to take root in my heart and spirit. Or maybe I choose to respond differently. What would our world look like if we didn't take advantage of our "right" to desire payback for those who wounded us? What if we allowed the beauty of humanity to spring forth in things like forgiveness and graciousness? I think our individual hearts would feel better, and the world would be more ripe for growth and learning. Even Gandhi said, "An eye for an eye will leave the whole world blind."
I needed this reminder today. I needed to remind myself to resist my initial reaction when I've been wounded and to trade it for something better, something more beneficial for everyone. And with Good Friday and Easter around the corner, this reminder seems appropriate. Romans 5:6-8 says, "You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." If Jesus, a perfect man, can be the atonement for me in the midst of my yucky heart, a heart that sometimes wants payback for those who've hurt me, then I can suck it up and be gracious even when it doesn't feel natural. We all have that ugly counterpart, no one is immune. We all need grace and forgiveness and second (and third and fourth) chances, and who am I to want those things to be withheld from anyone?
Humanity. It's the great equalizer. Some of us may look better than others or appear to have it all together, but really, we all have mired hearts. We all need grace from God and from each other, and we all wound and will be wounded. Easter is a good reminder for me of all the grace I've received, and how Jesus broke the cycle of karma once and for all. We don't get what we deserve, and for that I am thankful. Maybe it's not about how I've been wounded because in the big scheme of the universe, it's relatively minor. Maybe it's about the bigger picture. The picture of Jesus dying and rising on behalf of wounders everywhere. There's freedom in that, and today I'll choose to trade in my "right" for freedom. Happy Easter, y'all!
I could ramble on about how life has been boring lately, and how refreshing that's felt. I could talk about the green smoothies we've been chugging to be more healthy and to lose some weight before summer or about how running at sea level is easier on the lungs than those oxygen deprived, Colorado runs. But that's not where my head's at. I feel distracted. I try to write about things that are applicable to lots of people, not just the people who believe what I believe or look like me, but for the human heart. But today I'm feeling a little selfish and just need to remind myself how to behave when I've been wounded. And maybe somehow that is for everyone.
Humanity. Such a loaded word full of brokenness, goodness, love, egotism, diversity...humanity encompasses such an array of concepts and meanings, and it's rather brilliant how humans interact with each other and the world around. One of the beauties of living in our world is humanity itself. We have such ripe opportunities to learn from one another, to grow together, to help our fellow man, and to connect with each other based on our similarities and even differences. But with all that beauty there must be the ugly counterpart. Sometimes we're self serving, we're ignorant of each other, we lack empathy, we are laser focused on our agendas and our little lives. We think we are more important than we are, especially in the spectrum of the enormity of our world and universe. Living together and interacting with each other, we are bound to be wounded by the ugliness in others, just as we are bound to wound those around us. None of us are perfect; we all need saving and forgiveness and second (and third and fourth) chances. We all need more gracious interactions when our ugliness rages, and we wound another soul.
Of course, it's so much easier to see the need for grace when I've done the hurting, but when I'm the wounded all I want is for karma to come back around to the person that hurt me. I want to be justified in my wounding, and I want the other person to deeply know how I've been hurt...mainly by experiencing some similar wounding. And if that doesn't reveal something about my human heart, I don't know what does. It's a little embarrassing to type that out for the world to see (and by world, I mean the five people who read my blog), but it's a confession of sorts. Maybe we don't all feel this way when we've been wounded, but I'm willing to bet that many of us do or at least have in the past. I think it's a natural human response. It's really not that appalling and shouldn't take us by surprise. It's that ugly counterpart in our spirits. We all have yucky places in our hearts that need cleaning out and don't do the world at large any good.
Maybe I have the right to feel offended and to desire pay back or the demise of certain parties or entities. Maybe that natural ugliness in my heart that isn't that appalling is normal and maybe I should leave it to take root in my heart and spirit. Or maybe I choose to respond differently. What would our world look like if we didn't take advantage of our "right" to desire payback for those who wounded us? What if we allowed the beauty of humanity to spring forth in things like forgiveness and graciousness? I think our individual hearts would feel better, and the world would be more ripe for growth and learning. Even Gandhi said, "An eye for an eye will leave the whole world blind."
I needed this reminder today. I needed to remind myself to resist my initial reaction when I've been wounded and to trade it for something better, something more beneficial for everyone. And with Good Friday and Easter around the corner, this reminder seems appropriate. Romans 5:6-8 says, "You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." If Jesus, a perfect man, can be the atonement for me in the midst of my yucky heart, a heart that sometimes wants payback for those who've hurt me, then I can suck it up and be gracious even when it doesn't feel natural. We all have that ugly counterpart, no one is immune. We all need grace and forgiveness and second (and third and fourth) chances, and who am I to want those things to be withheld from anyone?
Humanity. It's the great equalizer. Some of us may look better than others or appear to have it all together, but really, we all have mired hearts. We all need grace from God and from each other, and we all wound and will be wounded. Easter is a good reminder for me of all the grace I've received, and how Jesus broke the cycle of karma once and for all. We don't get what we deserve, and for that I am thankful. Maybe it's not about how I've been wounded because in the big scheme of the universe, it's relatively minor. Maybe it's about the bigger picture. The picture of Jesus dying and rising on behalf of wounders everywhere. There's freedom in that, and today I'll choose to trade in my "right" for freedom. Happy Easter, y'all!
Cute kid in those pictures.
ReplyDelete