New Year's Resolutions, the Bachelor, and the Concept of Skinny.
Two thousand fifteen, the beginning of a new year; the chance to begin again. I think sometimes we forget that we have this choice every morning, but there's something about a fresh new year before us that draws us to reflection and the hope of change.
Many have thrown away the idea of a New Year's Resolution based on the likelihood (or even past experience) of failure. It can be hard to set a goal and not achieve it, but that doesn't discourage some from setting goals and taking names. At least in the shiny month of January. Before motivation dwindles and energy lacks, gyms are busy and grocery baskets are full of green leafy things. Sugar is held at bay, drive through windows are less occupied, and America is at its best trying to achieve a small waist line and less jiggle. I believe chasing the concept of health is a worthy pursuit. Improving what we do with our bodies and what we put into them can't be anything but a worthy cause, right?
Often times we blur the lines between skinny and healthy. What is it that we're trying to achieve...to be bikini ready for the summer or to decrease the likelihood of heart disease in our 40's? Are we desperately trying to chase an unrealistic ideal that we see plastered on every magazine cover or are we fighting to be alive and physically functional in the decades to come? The answers to these questions vary from person to person, but I think they're questions worth exploring.
I watched the first episode of the Bachelor this weekend. It's fun to make predictions on who the bachelor will choose and somehow the suspense of waiting is like a torture that we're drawn to. We get sucked in and can't look away from the proverbial train wreck. We love the drama. I love the drama! But what strikes me from watching that first episode is the utter sadness in the way these women hang on the worth they allow the bachelor (or any man) to attribute to them. They're literally devastated because he doesn't find them worthy enough to keep around. It opened my eyes once again to the lack of security and confidence women in American possess. And to be honest, that's said from the least judgmental heart. Magazines we see, the television we watch, and the music we listen to roots into way into our hearts and minds and whispers sweet lies that we aren't good enough....unless another man says we are, unless we are skinny enough, unless we are in a relationship, unless we have the perfect job....fill in the blank. We all find our selves unworthy in some capacity because of lies that we believe.
As I was getting Nora ready for bed last night, she stood in the middle of the living room only in a diaper. She looked down, grabbed her full and bare belly and exclaimed, "body!" with such innocent and humorous enthusiasm. It warmed my heart to see her curiosity and ultimately her acceptance of her own skin. She doesn't know she's supposed to critique every inch of herself, that she'll never be good enough by American standards, or that she's supposed to feel guilty for every dessert she puts in her mouth. And as her momma, I hope she chooses to never feel this way because of a deeply rooted security in the fact that she's enough. I hope she turns away from these lies and embraces the skin that she's in. I hope she chooses to flood her body with real, life giving foods, and I hope she sneaks a cupcake in there every now and then.
It's hard to feel good enough in a world that constantly tells you that you're not, and it's hard to stand secure as a woman (and man for that matter) in your own skin and in who you are. We are so diverse and beautifully different in every category yet there's a crazy pressure to all squeeze ourselves into a size 2, and quite frankly I'm tired of that pressure. Healthy doesn't always equal skinny, and it certainly doesn't mean zero body fat and carved abs. Now don't get my wrong, if you want wash board ab, go get 'em! However, for me, before I commit to a workout regiment for the new year, I'm taking a minute to accept my body for what it is. Should I put more veggies into my body? YES! Should I cut back on the sugar and processed foods? YES! But should I do that because I feel unworthy, not good enough, or because I want to mimic the unrealistic American expectation of a perfect body in my own life? NO. I refuse to jump into the river due to the pressure to be good enough. We shouldn't be altering our bodies or our selves in any capacity from a place of insecurity. There has to be a movement to accept our beauty, self worth, and bodies, and from that launching pad should come change. Shrinking a pants size or being bikini ready doesn't solve the problem, folks. Watch one episode of the Bachelor. Those women are gorgeous and about as flawless as it gets, but insecurity is the driving point to most of the drama and devastation on that show.
So in this new year, I want to be more like Nora. I want to look down at my body and genuinely feel excited about the skin I'm in. Not because I look a certain way, am a certain size, or reflect what our culture says is acceptable. I am learning that the skin I'm in isn't the whole of who I am. It's a part of it, but not the most important one. I want to strive to be more healthy, to eat better and to move more, but out of a drive for healthy, not skinny, and out of a place of security. If I want Nora to reject what this world says about who she is and her body, then I have to reject those things too. I'm not bound by the world's standards, and it's about time we all realize none of are. Let's do a little breaking free in 2015, ladies.
Many have thrown away the idea of a New Year's Resolution based on the likelihood (or even past experience) of failure. It can be hard to set a goal and not achieve it, but that doesn't discourage some from setting goals and taking names. At least in the shiny month of January. Before motivation dwindles and energy lacks, gyms are busy and grocery baskets are full of green leafy things. Sugar is held at bay, drive through windows are less occupied, and America is at its best trying to achieve a small waist line and less jiggle. I believe chasing the concept of health is a worthy pursuit. Improving what we do with our bodies and what we put into them can't be anything but a worthy cause, right?
Often times we blur the lines between skinny and healthy. What is it that we're trying to achieve...to be bikini ready for the summer or to decrease the likelihood of heart disease in our 40's? Are we desperately trying to chase an unrealistic ideal that we see plastered on every magazine cover or are we fighting to be alive and physically functional in the decades to come? The answers to these questions vary from person to person, but I think they're questions worth exploring.
I watched the first episode of the Bachelor this weekend. It's fun to make predictions on who the bachelor will choose and somehow the suspense of waiting is like a torture that we're drawn to. We get sucked in and can't look away from the proverbial train wreck. We love the drama. I love the drama! But what strikes me from watching that first episode is the utter sadness in the way these women hang on the worth they allow the bachelor (or any man) to attribute to them. They're literally devastated because he doesn't find them worthy enough to keep around. It opened my eyes once again to the lack of security and confidence women in American possess. And to be honest, that's said from the least judgmental heart. Magazines we see, the television we watch, and the music we listen to roots into way into our hearts and minds and whispers sweet lies that we aren't good enough....unless another man says we are, unless we are skinny enough, unless we are in a relationship, unless we have the perfect job....fill in the blank. We all find our selves unworthy in some capacity because of lies that we believe.
As I was getting Nora ready for bed last night, she stood in the middle of the living room only in a diaper. She looked down, grabbed her full and bare belly and exclaimed, "body!" with such innocent and humorous enthusiasm. It warmed my heart to see her curiosity and ultimately her acceptance of her own skin. She doesn't know she's supposed to critique every inch of herself, that she'll never be good enough by American standards, or that she's supposed to feel guilty for every dessert she puts in her mouth. And as her momma, I hope she chooses to never feel this way because of a deeply rooted security in the fact that she's enough. I hope she turns away from these lies and embraces the skin that she's in. I hope she chooses to flood her body with real, life giving foods, and I hope she sneaks a cupcake in there every now and then.
It's hard to feel good enough in a world that constantly tells you that you're not, and it's hard to stand secure as a woman (and man for that matter) in your own skin and in who you are. We are so diverse and beautifully different in every category yet there's a crazy pressure to all squeeze ourselves into a size 2, and quite frankly I'm tired of that pressure. Healthy doesn't always equal skinny, and it certainly doesn't mean zero body fat and carved abs. Now don't get my wrong, if you want wash board ab, go get 'em! However, for me, before I commit to a workout regiment for the new year, I'm taking a minute to accept my body for what it is. Should I put more veggies into my body? YES! Should I cut back on the sugar and processed foods? YES! But should I do that because I feel unworthy, not good enough, or because I want to mimic the unrealistic American expectation of a perfect body in my own life? NO. I refuse to jump into the river due to the pressure to be good enough. We shouldn't be altering our bodies or our selves in any capacity from a place of insecurity. There has to be a movement to accept our beauty, self worth, and bodies, and from that launching pad should come change. Shrinking a pants size or being bikini ready doesn't solve the problem, folks. Watch one episode of the Bachelor. Those women are gorgeous and about as flawless as it gets, but insecurity is the driving point to most of the drama and devastation on that show.
So in this new year, I want to be more like Nora. I want to look down at my body and genuinely feel excited about the skin I'm in. Not because I look a certain way, am a certain size, or reflect what our culture says is acceptable. I am learning that the skin I'm in isn't the whole of who I am. It's a part of it, but not the most important one. I want to strive to be more healthy, to eat better and to move more, but out of a drive for healthy, not skinny, and out of a place of security. If I want Nora to reject what this world says about who she is and her body, then I have to reject those things too. I'm not bound by the world's standards, and it's about time we all realize none of are. Let's do a little breaking free in 2015, ladies.
And because it seemed appropriate...(excuse the expletives)
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